Strong For Way Too Long
by nerdie
Summary: Just a sad-ish little 'what if' talk in HoH between Nico and Percy with a little concerned Jason thrown in there. Just saying, Nico hasn't left with Reyna and Coach yet but it's after the picnic. I was just going for a sad fic about Nico kinda showing how strong he is and how much he really struggles because he's my favorite. Includes crying, hugging, Jasico brOTP, and nice Percy.
1. Percy POV

**SO GUISE. FIRST PJO/HoO FANFICTION. UM...YAH.**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson characters and Heroes of Olympus characters do _not _belong to me... *breaks into sobs* If they were, I'd be much nicer than demonic 'ol Uncle Rick...seriously. **

**So ummmm sorry for any errors in here. All mistakes are my own and all that jazz. Just a what if conversation in HoH after the picnic but Nico didn't leave straight away. I also tried to work in some Jasico brOTP. I hope you guys enjoy. Please go easy on me. I'm struggling from BoO withdrawal. Review. Favorite. Follow. Or whatever. I don't know. I think this is a one-shot. Isn't it? Should it be? I DON'T KNOW.**

**But yeahhhhh let me know in a review or PM wacha think! Please... now i really hope you enjoy!**

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"Hey, Jason," Percy said.

"Percy," Jason replied

"Hey, uh, where's Nico?" The son of Poseidon hadn't seen the son of Hades since their picnic earlier. Jason nodded upwards at the yardarm where Nico was sitting looking at the night sky. He seemed lost in thought.

"He always up there?" Percy asked.

"Pretty much. The only place he can be alone. It's where he thinks. The place gives him some peace. Between you and me, he'd just stay up there all night when we were sailing to the House of Hades. He never got much sleep." Jason's eyes held a deep look of concern. Percy thought that odd seeing as the last time he saw the son of Jupiter, he held no regard whatsoever for the fourteen year old. What had Percy missed?

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. Poor kid never slept. Barely ate, too."

"Sounds like Nico."

"I gotta go see Piper. Be careful with him," Jason said gesturing to Nico again. Percy didn't think Jason meant it for him. Seemed more like a big brother thing to say. Kinda like,_ Don't hurt him. If you do, I'll hurt you_. Percy nodded. He watched as Jason walked to the lower decks. Then he took a deep breath and climbed up to the mast.

"Hey, Nico. May I join you?" Percy asked once he'd reached the yardarm.

Nico didn't even flinch. He barely turned his head as he said, "Whatever."

"Uh...thanks?" As Percy settled down on the wood, Nico stayed silent. He'd returned his gaze to the stars. For a while, the two boys just stared at the night sky. Percy would sneak glances at the boy, but never saw him sneak any towards Percy. The wind blew through Nico's dark mop. He had thick, dark bags right underneath his eyes. Yet he looked more peaceful up here than when he was at the picnic. Grace was right. Looking at Nico, Percy could see how his clothes hung off him. The guy looked starved. He was painfully thin. His hair almost reached his shoulders and his eyes looked as black as his Stygian Iron sword. "Nico…I came up here to say thank you."

Nico frowned. "For what?"

"You promised to lead the others to the House of Hades. You did it."

The son of Hades sighed. "You got me out of that bronze jar in Rome. Saved my life yet again. It was the least I could do." His voice was steely, guarded, devoid of emotion. Percy wished he could figure out what made this guy tick, but he'd never been able to. Nico was no longer the geeky kid from Westover Hall with the Mythomagic cards. Nor was he the angry loner who'd followed the ghost of Minos through the Labyrinth. But who was he?

"Also," Percy said. "you visited Bob…" He told Nico about their trip through Tartarus. He figured if anyone could understand, Nico would. "You convinced Bob that I could be trusted, even though_ I_ never visited him. I never gave him a second thought. You probably saved our lived by being nice to him."

"Yeah, well," Nico said, "not giving people a second thought…that can be dangerous. Besides, I spent most of my time down in the Underworld. I belong there. You don't. You weren't going to trek down there to talk to a Titan; you were busy with other stuff. That's fine. You're the important demigod here."

"Dude, I'm trying to say thank you."

Nico laughed without humor. "I'm trying to say you don't need to." He didn't say anything else, but Percy didn't leave. He was determined to get something out of this kid. Percy was about to speak but Nico beat him to it.

"How's Annabeth doing?" he asked.

"Good. I mean, as good as you can get when you just popped back out of a big, black hole of pain, death, and suffering. She's shaken up; we both are. But overall we're pretty good."

Nico nodded slowly. "How was it? You know, Tartarus?"

"It was…scary. Very scary. If I hadn't had Annabeth with me…I don't know how I would've made it."

Nico didn't utter a word.

"Hey, Nico. Really. Thank you. While I was down there I realized that I never treated you well enough. You deserved better than how I treated you. Sometimes I forget that you're only fourteen years old. Even I was sixteen when I fought Kronos. And then I had an army. You've been on your own. And I really don't take that into account, do I?"

Nothing.

Percy sighed. He didn't understand this kid. Not one bit. "While I was down there…I saw a glimpse of how Tartarus really looked and…I mean…how did you survive? I would've gone insane."

Nico shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I almost didn't. And when I came back I was plagued with so many of these…nightmares. Not demigod dreams. Actual nightmares. Like memories of Tartarus. I would wake up in a cold sweat…scared out of my mind to be honest. I would wake up and just think: maybe it would've been better if I didn't come back." Nico, for the first time since they'd been talking, looked into Percy's eyes. Nico's dark brown eyes seemed to sucker punch Percy in the gut. They looked so shattered. Broken. Percy was overwhelmed by the sadness that seemed to dwell in the pits of Nico's eyes. They almost seemed like Tartarus itself. Dark, captivating, and filled with endless pain and misery.

"Wow, Nico," Percy said. "I didn't know you felt that way. You've never shared that kind of stuff with me. Did you tell anyone about them? They would've helped you."

Nico shook his head rapidly. "No. I mean…Jason kinda knew about them. I had him promise not to worry or involve anyone. I didn't want to burden anyone. Besides…I didn't really have anyone to tell."

"You had the whole ship, Nico," Percy said with a slight grin.

"I may have been with them, but that doesn't mean I had friends in them."

Percy's smile faded quickly. "Nico—"

Nico dropped his gaze. "No, Percy. Just never mind. Forget it. I don't want to bother you." He looked back up at the sky. Percy looked at him sympathetically. He put his hand onto Nico's shoulder only to have him shake it off. Then he grabbed his arms with his hands like how Egyptians looked when they were mummified. Percy didn't know what to do so he just placed his hand softly back in his lap.

"Nico," Percy began. "you really shouldn't feel that way. Jason has been trying to befriend you—I can see it. He cares about you. And I'm here now. You can talk to me. I'm here for you. You can't just keep pushing people away, Nico. You have to trust. You have to take a risk that you have people that will accept you for who you are. You can't spend your whole life hiding."

"You sound just like him!" Nico spat out. He began to tremble with rage.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Settle down, Nico. Like who?"

"Everybody's golden boy. _Jason Grace_."

"Nico, he cares about you. _I_ care about you."

"No you don't! _No one_ cares about me! No one cares about the son of Hades! Except for Bianca…and she died."

The mentioning of the other di Angelo felt like pouring salt on an open wound.

"She…she _died_." Nico's anger seemed to be fading fast. "She died and left me all alone." His voice was hollow. "But it made me realize: I'll always be all alone. A child of Hades doesn't get a happy ending. We're meant to be by ourselves."

"Nico, I—"

"No!" he snarled. His fury had returned. "Don't you _see_? I _can't_ trust people. Whenever I do, I just get hurt in the end. And I'm _sick_ of getting hurt. If I'm by myself then monsters are the only things that can hurt me. I'd prefer them any day."

"Nico, _listen_ to me." Percy was tired of this kid's attitude. Whenever he tried to help, Nico just pushed him out. "Getting hurt is a part of life. You can't hide from your life. You can't hide from your _feelings_."

Percy didn't know how, but his comment seemed to only make the situation worse. Was there no pleasing this kid?

"_Don't_ you say that. Don't you _say_ that, Percy Jackson. You don't know _anything_ about me. Stop _helping_ me. 'Cause you're not. You're making it worse. _Please_." Nico's voice crackled and broke. He sounded desperate. Was he…crying? No, he can't be. Nico di Angelo doesn't cry.

The fight seemed to have just drained out of the son of Hades altogether and he lost it. He completely lost it. The guy began to sob. Hard, loud, teeth chattering, body shaking sobs.

"Nico, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry." Percy again to place his hand on Nico's shoulder. He swatted it away.

"Don't _touch_ me! _Please_, Percy. _Please_." He started crying again. Percy sat there. Helpless and lost as to what to do. He had no idea how to comfort him. The wind had picked up again and the night grew chillier. The weather matched the mood perfectly. Nico's sobs began to die down and he furiously wiped his face. He ran a thin hand through his shaggy hair and took a shaky breath. "Percy," Nico started. "I have to go."

"Nico, please. I should be the one leaving. I never meant to—"

"Shut up. I really don't care. It's fine. I have to leave at first light. Might as well try to get some sleep. I have to shadow-travel halfway across the world tomorrow. You should get some rest, too. And when I'm gone, you can come up here if you'd like. I don't care." There was something off with what he said. For starters, Percy didn't really believe that Nico was going to try and sleep. Second, he didn't even sound angry. Not one bit. He sounded empty, but not angry. Third of all, the way he said, "when I'm gone" was weird to him. He made it sound like…he wasn't coming back. The quest would be over and he'd be at Camp Half-Blood, yes so he wouldn't be back on the ship, but it sounded like he put a secret "forever" in there. It just didn't sit right with the son of Poseidon.

"So…good-bye, Percy," Nico said. Then he got up and climbed down the mast before Percy could get a word in. He shook off his confusion and quickly began his own descent. Nico had already begun walking away from the wooden mast of the_ Argo II_ when Percy jumped down. He then grabbed Nico by the arm, not caring what curses the guy might yell at him, and pulled him into a large hug. Nico hesitated. He seemed like he wanted to push away, but he ended up returning the embrace. A look of shock passed over Percy's eyes and, he imagined, Nico's as well. Percy hugged the kid even tighter. Then he pulled away, grabbed Nico by the shoulders and said, "Be careful, don't get killed, and I'll be seeing you later," with a strong, reassuring smile. Nico didn't return this, though.

Finally Percy let go and watched as Nico quickly walked away to the lower decks. Percy thought he looked like he'd started crying again. Oh, gods why can't he do anything right?

Nico swatted at his face the get rid of the tears that were undoubtedly rolling down his cheeks. On his way down he bumped into the shoulder of Jason. The blonde demigod gave a concerned stare and reached out towards Nico's arm but he just dodged him and ran down the stairs.

Jason marched right up to Percy. "What in Jupiter's name happened?" he demanded.

"I don't even know. I never meant for him to start crying. I just…I just told him I was here for him. That he didn't have to hide anything." Percy looked back at Jason half expecting him to be furious but instead, he looked sympathetic. Like he _understood._ "I didn't mean to—"

"I know you didn't," Jason sighed and said. "I know. He knows, too." He nodded towards where the son of Hades had just disappeared. "It's not your fault. Nico's just been strong for way too long."

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***rubs hands together nervously* so uh...what did y'all think? Sorry for any mistakes and I really hoped you enjoyed. Drop me a review or PM or favorite or anything pls. Pls? PLS?! k thanks. :3 **

**I'm sorry if this was OOC. Did y'all think it was a bit OOC?**

**Also, If I wrote another PJO/HoO fanfic would y'all read it?**

**Please leave a review! :)**


	2. author's note

**So...thanks to all the people who responded to the story and all that shiz. Rn i'm actually laying on my side in my room listening to Three Days Grace (THEY'RE SO AMAZING. I LOVE THE ONE-X ALBUM)...it's hard. My arm hurts.**

**Anyway. I'm writing this to ask you a few questions. **

**1. Was the last story good? Not too much OOCness? **

**2. If i wrote another HoO fanfic would y'all read it? It would be Nico-centric again. Kinda him having nightmares and yes. mORE JASIC BROTP. COS I LOVE IT. But yeah. Would y'all read it? **

**That's about it. Thanks guise. :3**


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